As an ECKist and a first-time parent to a beautiful toddler, I strive to be an evolved and loving person and parent. Recently, I fell shamefully short of my own expectations.
We had just moved to a new city, and I had no immediate support system other than my husband, who was finding his own footing in a new and demanding job. Alone in a new city, I often felt overwhelmed by the challenges that come with caring for a toddler and household.
I noticed that my patience began to burn out quickly, and my toddler’s limit testing, while completely age appropriate, would set me ablaze with anger and frustration. I would feel unbalanced the rest of the day or sick with shame from my reactions. Who was this person? Every day felt like a battle, and many days ended in tears. I couldn’t accept that this was the mother I had become.
On the surface, this might appear to be a normal reaction to life’s stressors colliding with the developmental leaps of a toddler. But after a particularly harrowing day, it was clear to me that something deeper was going on. I called on the MAHANTA, the Inner Master, for help: “This is not who I am as Soul. Show me truth!” I dusted off my dream journal and began reading The Art of Spiritual Dreaming, by Sri Harold, for the fourth time.
Relief soon came. In a dream I was shown a past life where I had been abandoned in combat during a battle. And while my companion’s reasons for withdrawing were just, I never let go of the hurt and anger of being left to fight alone. I could see how my present circumstances could have uncovered this old memory, leaving me again feeling unsupported in a stressful situation.
The Light of ECK illuminated the truth through a dream, and almost immediately, I felt more peaceful. I became less prone to anger and more like the steady leader my child needs me to be. The ECK also led me to a parenting book that gave me additional understanding of tantrums from my child’s perspective. This helped me feel more compassionate rather than frustrated during outbursts.
I am so grateful for the teachings of ECK, which remind me there is always a solution within, and for the MAHANTA, whose love never fails. This experience was a welcome reminder that as I face the challenges of parenthood, I’m never alone; the MAHANTA is with me always.
Click here to discover a spiritual exercise to help you regain control of anger.