Dear MAHANTA, I want to know if I should follow my instinct about my younger child: Let her follow her dreams of dancing, and just be there to support her financially later in life.  Do I trust she will be loving and responsible? Is she just going through her teenage years, and is that why she sometimes seems distracted and rude?

                                                                                       —Sabina Sihota, Australia

Dear Sabina,

It is hard to find a teenager who isn’t distracted and rude from time to time.  Or even a lot of the time!  Things usually even out.  Offer kindness and patience, yet be firm when needed.

As to your daughter’s dreams of dancing:

As a teenager, what would you have wanted your parents to say when you had a golden dream they thought impractical?

It doesn’t pay to talk people out of their dreams.  The purpose of life is to make choices and learn.  Someday your daughter will be an adult.  At that point, she’ll get to make all her own choices and take responsibility for them. That includes finances.

We love our children, but we cannot own their dreams nor their lives.  Give them the best of your wisdom, counsel, and support while they are in your care.  Then let go, with love, when they leave the nest.